Combat Perfectionism with Mindfulness
It’s natural to want things to be perfect, or go perfectly, but disappointment and resentment can occur when you expect perfection. Creating realistic goals and consistent effort to achieve those goals helps self-esteem, and are adaptive traits of perfectionism. However, when you are fixated on doing everything perfectly, every step of the way, anxiety, depression, and other emotional and relational issues can arise.
Thankfully, there are some simple ways to help you break-free from perfectionism and retrain your brain for an improved quality of life.
Are You a Perfectionist?
Perfectionism is a sneaky problem because perfectionism usually starts as something positive. We are usually rewarded for excelling, achieving, and being “productive”. What I often see in my clients that struggle with perfectionism is that their desire to be perfect is born out of a need to protect themselves from something. Maybe that something is a critical parent, getting teased at school, trying to get attention… there are many reasons people want and need to protect themselves, and always being perfect is a way that folks think they can “fool” others into believing that everything is okay, they are strong, and they don’t need help.
Perfectionism becomes a problem when it gets in the way of everyday life. Do you find yourself procrastinating in order to avoid tasks because you fear making mistakes and screwing something up? You could be a perfectionist. Especially if you experience anxiety, stress, and depression when thinking about the tasks. So how can you counteract perfectionism?
Retrain Your Brain to Work With Perfectionism
In order to work with perfectionism, it helps to pay attention to the times when you’re trying to be perfect… Another way to put it is to become more mindful. How do you work on mindfulness when it comes to perfectionism?
Work on projects one at a time.
Pay attention to your thoughts without judgment.
Think of neutral ways to talk about yourself, it’s hard to jump from negative self-talk to positive, so strive for neutral or balanced.
Practice gratitude. You’re awesome, appreciate the awesome things about yourself.
Be your own cheerleader EVERY DAY. Find something each day, or find more than one something each day, and congratulate yourself for it. Some days you’ll congratulate yourself for getting up and brushing your teeth, and other days you’ll congratulate yourself for training your dog not to jump on guests entering your house.
Learn to find meaning in the things you do instead of focusing on doing the things perfectly.
Counteract Perfectionism with Assistance from a Professional
Combating perfectionism can feel daunting. It doesn’t have to be! Trained professionals are ready and willing to walk this journey with you. Find out if Green Circle Collective is the right group of therapists to help you counteract perfectionism.
